I am doing my MBA or what can be translated as (M)y (B)ombastic (A)ssessment of my capabilities. Everything is below my standard because I sleep with Kotler and open my eyes to Michael Porter shining through my windows. Even the sun and the moon cannot match the glory of my course. When someone asks me for my profile, i shoot back and ‘snap’ my Symbiosis status. And then came the ground reality. My professor challenged me and my batch to match our capabilities with our real identity. My proud MBA status was secret and so was my resume. I was an ordinary girl out with a buddy (my proud batch mate) and we had to fend for ourselves for 24 hours on our own. A measly sum of Rs. 200 was to be earned on my own without flaunting our degree or college; just ordinary people off the road. Big deal!
The big deal started with bigger deals than we thought. We had no money despite my wallet and we had to earn even the food that would keep us alive till dinner. Tilak road was to be our destination and even the Delhi distances could not have prepared me for the 8 kms of money less travelling. What was suicide in Delhi became my weapon of distance destruction. I hitchhiked twice and walked 2 kms before an irritated Marathi told me that north Indians should not be allowed in Maharashtra. Our crime was that we were standing on Tilak road and asking for direction to the same. ‘Stupid us’ part 1 ends here.
Once th realization of success had dawned on us we were troubled by an ancient enemy of good minds and dedicated souls: the question , “Now what?”. The first thing to accost me was a beggar child on the road and her bowl for alms. That suddenly seemed a good business proposition but somewhere my MBA ego pushed me further. Stupidly number two was averted at the site of an IT solutions company. The HR was on leave but we managed to find him in the lift. That was his part time probably. We told him what we wanted and he asked us why he should consider us without a CV. My tongue was faster than my brain. With lightening speed I retorted that he would never be able to hire us cheap again. He laughed and left. We left too.
Our ego drove us to another investment firm. The blue chip investment centre was a small place and this time our combined effort of me keeping my tongue under control and my buddy keeping the talk under control, within half an hour of lost leching at jobs, we managed to land ourselves a telemarketing job. We had to call the data base of the company and convince the already convinced customers that the Reliance Mutual Funds were good. End of story and life. We were at the job and we were cool. This was the beginning of our second phase of stupidity.
My first Clint was dead and the second was sleeping. My salary was incentive based and dead clints cannot buy mutual funds. Together we started demolishing a list of about 200 people who were too busy for our all important job. Our employer, Mr. Gopinath sat patiently while I tried to sell mutual funds to dead clients. It was fun if nothing else. Then came lunch. Our incentive scheme had led to many appointments and promises and zero results. We had made potential sales but money only flowed through the actual ones. We had a kind employer who heard our tragic tale of poverty and imposed amnesia and gave us food. We demolished the list and were on our way with a promise for the incentive to be paid as soon as possible.
We were poor and tired and our fate as last resort brought us to the threshold of a mountain. Parvati temple may share its spellings with goddess Parvati but it was a parvat to begin and end. We slipped and climbed and then met out mentor and then climbed and slipped back to college after a compete Pune darshan with people who gave lifts because they wanted the co passenger to give them company while they looked for their own destination.
Life was a big deal at SIMS and now it’s a bidder deal with the right meaning of an MBA stamped over my face. Sweat and blood flow alike here and parvats are actual parvats not just hills posing to be one. If we want to get big, we need to stop posing too. Another lesson in life!
